


Whose Awesome Line is it Anyway?

by Zeplerfer



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Crack, Gen, Improv Comedy, Who's Line is it Anyway AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-26
Updated: 2015-02-26
Packaged: 2018-03-15 08:23:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3440276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeplerfer/pseuds/Zeplerfer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Germany is sick for the day and Prussia decides it's time to liven up the World Meeting with some improv comedy. Slight PruCan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whose Awesome Line is it Anyway?

Scene: World Meeting, 8:59am.

The noises of bustling nations filled the conference room. Some of the more diligent nations pulled out notes while others chatted. America loudly slurped his drink, Romano swore, and—creating a ripple of shock throughout the room—Prussia burst through the doors wearing a suit and top hat just as the clock struck nine.

"Hey, guys!" he yelled, grabbing Germany’s seat. "Let’s get this meeting started!"

"What are _you_ doing here?" Austria asked haughtily.

Prussia grinned back. "What do you think? West is sick, so I'm representing Germany today. _Duh_. Since Germany always runs these meetings, that makes me the awesome leader!" He winked at Hungary, who responded by pulling out a frying pan and giving him a death glare.

"Don't be absurd," England interrupted. "Germany leads the meetings because of his freakish anal retentive tendencies. Do you have any of his organizational capacity whatsoever? No. It's clear that _I_ should be the one to lead the meeting given my status as most responsible nation in the room."

Prussia snorted. "Mein gott, you're such a snooze fest! I just fell asleep you were so boring. Here's my awesome plan: we're going to put on an improv comedy show!"

"What? That will do nothing to solve world problems," said Austria, joining Hungary in glaring at Prussia.

"Pfft. Who said anything about world problems? I think we should do something awesome and fun and I got this great idea from some TV re-runs I was watching in West's basement. I call it 'Whose Awesome Line is it Anyway?'"

"Cool, that's one of my shows! I vote yes!" said America, pounding his fist in the air in excitement.

"You mean it's another show you stole from me," England complained. "And it was better when it was British."

"Dude, we didn't steal it, we perfected it!"

"Both of you shut up!" shouted Austria. "Let's just vote. Who wants to be responsible nations and actually deal with the problems we came here to address and who wants to let this," he gestured at Prussia, "this narcissistic lunatic run wild with his crazy scheme?"

All of the irresponsible nations voted in favor of Prussia's plan, leaving only Austria, England, and China to disapprove.

"Switzerland, you didn't vote," Austria complained.

"I'm remaining neutral," Switzerland replied. Because she was completely dependent on him for military and financial aid, Liechtenstein nodded her agreement while starting adoringly at her older brother.

Austria turned to the other side of the table. "Japan, surely you don't think this is a good idea?"

"I agree with America," Japan said, quietly cutting off further discussion.

"Awesome!" Prussia shouted. "Okay, here's the first one, scenes from a hat!" He stuck his hand into the hat and lifted out a fluffy yellow chick. "Oh hey Gilbird, there you are!"

Prussia placed the chick on his head and reached into the hat again, this time pulling out a piece of paper. "Okay, first scene is for Sealand, France, America, and England. The location is a World Meeting and you're playing Sealand, France, Canada, and England, but none of you are allowed to play yourselves. Got it?"

Suddenly numerous countries raised their voices in objection and complaint.

First was England, "Sealand is not a country! You can't recognize him by letting him play in this stupid game!"

Next came Poland, "Dude, you can't like set an improv scene at a World Meeting while we're at a World Meeting, that's like totally lame."

Then Korea started yelling and waiving his arms, "I should be in this scene! Improv was invented in Korea!"

Finally, Sealand joined in, "Rawr! I'm a country and I'm annoyed because I'm not as awesome and cool as Prussia!"

Prussia laughed and patted Sealand's shoulders. "Kid, you're almost as awesome as me! Also I forgot to mention: once we do a scene, we'll all go to a bar and have alcohol?"

"Alcohol, you say?" England asked, intrigued.

"Oooh," France eagerly rubbed his hands together. "Will England be our waiter?"

"Shut up," England snapped as he swacked France in the head.

"Dudes, stop it with the sexual tension so we can do some improv!" America said, for once being somewhat reasonable.

"For once, America is being somewhat reasonable," England said in surprise.

"I agree, which means it is ze end of the world. Would you like to have some of ze preparing-for-ze-apocalypse sex?" France leered.

England punched him again. "Well, I think it's bloody obvious that Sealand should play America. He's an annoying child who wants his independence, even though he has no bloody idea what to do with it."

"Dude, it's obvious that Sealand has to play England. He's got the eyebrows and the temper and the swearing and everything!" America said. The other countries laughed and immediately agreed that Sealand would make the best England.

"Yay!" said Sealand, as he ran off to the costume room that was now mysteriously attached to the world conference room so he could find a costume.

"So who will play Sealand?" England asked in a huff. France and America just stared at him and smiled. "Oh, no. No, no. Definitely not."

"But you are perfect, _mon cher_ , you have, as _Amérique_ says, ze eyebrows and ze temper and ze swearing and everything!" The other countries, still laughing, quickly agreed that England would make the best Sealand. He stomped off to the dressing room.

"And I shall be dear Canada!" France said, smiling happily.

"Shouldn't I be Canada?" America asked. "I mean, we are _twins_."

"Yes, but no one has ever mistaken _you_ for Canada in your life. Also, if you play Canada, that will leave only ze role of France for me, which is forbidden by ze rules."

"Ugh, does that make me France?" America looked a little queasy.

"Hon hon, just remember: now you are one with ze country of l'amour." France said while making kissing noises at America. They both left for the changing rooms.

"Okay, start scene!" Prussia yelled.

Sealand bounded into the room and jumped on to the table that they had repurposed as a stage. He was dressed as a pirate with an impressive pirate hat and a plastic sword. "Yar, I be Cap'n England, the terror of the seven seas!" he said. "Oh, and I'm the first to the meeting because I'm a punctual tosser."

"Look, it's England all alone, go get him," the real France said, pushing America onto the stage.

America looked decidedly uncomfortable in France's fancy clothes and his blond wig of slightly longer hair. "Look, I know that France always hits on England, but he's like 12! Isn't this creepy even by France's standards?"

England entered the room wearing an adorable sailor's uniform and an impressive scowl. "France would most definitely 'hit on' a child. When I was a child, France invaded my southern regions," he said, his tone frosty and hateful.

"Ah, ze Normans, those were ze good ol' days," France replied with a happy sigh. He had added a single curl in front to his hair and was holding a stuffed bear.

"Um, _mon cher_ …" America began to say with a terrible French accent before Sealand cut him off.

"Shut up, frog!" Sealand pointed his sword at America.

America decided that cussing was far preferable to flirting and joined in with relish. "Screw you, _rosbif_! Your cooking is terrible and your eyebrows are hideous!"

"Well, you've got a dumb accent and stupid hair!"

"My hair isn't as stupid as your hair!"

"Yes, it is!"

"No, it isn't!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

The real France and England watched in silence as America and Sealand repeated the same two lines over and over, before France burst out laughing. "Ah, _mon cher_ , they've captured us perfectly," he said, slinging his arm around England.

Sealand grew tired of shouting and started hitting America with the plastic sword. England smirked, "Ah yes, here comes the part where I beat the crap out of you."

"France, England, stop flirting and join the scene!" Prussia yelled from his chair.

France strolled over to the stage. "I'm dead sexy and speak French, but no one notices me," he said in a sad and quiet voice.

"I notice you!" Prussia shouted.

England chose this moment to jump on stage and stomp his feet. "Wah wah, I'm just a bloody seafort, but I demand you all recognize me as a country! I'm tired of listening to my big brother, even though he protects me and actually understands how global politics work. I'm going to have a revolution and break my brother's heart even though he's never given me anything but love and understanding. And then I'm going to grow big and fat and forget all the civilized manners I ever learned and butcher the language with my stupid Amer—I mean Sealand phrases. Now recognize my sovereignty!"

"Never!" Sealand said with a happy cry as he swacked England with the pirate sword. "You're going to be my cabin boy and I'm never letting you leave the ship, not ever. Now start swabbing the deck with a goat, and that's not a euphemism for anything!"

"Cut scene!" Prussia called and the audience of nations clapped wildly. "Now let's go get some alcohol!"

At those words, the nations began cheering loudly and streaming out of the room, quickly heading towards the nearest bar. France, England, and America took off their costumes, although Sealand decided to keep on the pirate outfit, explaining that it was much cooler than a sailor's uniform and he had decided to become a pirate.

"Hey Prussia, this was a lot of fun," a soft voice said from the chair next to Prussia's. "Would you like to get some pancakes after the booze?"

"Sounds awesome!" Prussia said. He grabbed Canada's hand and they left the room together.

* * *

Prussia woke up to the sound of Germany slamming the front door. He had fallen asleep on the couch in the basement while watching reruns of American comedy shows. "Hey West!" he called, "How was the meeting?" Germany replied with an impressive list of German cusswords, then explained that Sealand had pretended to be Canada, causing a ridiculous scene at the meeting.

"Sealand as Canada, huh?" Prussia said. "I didn't think of that."

"I could use a beer, want to come?" Germany asked.

"Nah, I've got a hankering for pancakes." Prussia smiled and went to find his phone. He just had to tell Canada about his awesome dream.

**Author's Note:**

> (My FFnet -> A03 transfer continues.)


End file.
